Adult Tantrum.

Last night was major for me. i threw a cancer tantrum. i kicked, and screamed, and cried, and paced back and forth, and rubbed my eyes, i talked a mile a minute and swore like a sailor. i came undone... and was put back together again. this morning i woke up with a clear mind. i felt i had an understanding of some sorts of this cancer thing that has pretty much taken over my body, spirit, and mind. i came to the conclusion that the yuckiest sum of its parts, the radiation/ chemo combo is what is going to save my life. it's not there to destroy me, but to help heal me. and over seeing the whole project will be my God. i feel thankful today for adult tantrums, and for God's grace breaking through the cracks in my darkness to shine His light.