a friend posted on her facebook tonight that she knows way too many people with cancer right now that are close to her in her life. i can honestly say that before my own cancer, i only knew of one other person who had had it and that was my grandfather who sadly passed away from a long, long battle. but now i know many, many people with cancer. meeting so many through radiation and chemotherapy, i have so many new friends now who are fighting for there lives. i love about 20 knew people who i call friends and who i pray for by name every day. most times you could find me begging God to save them, crying my eyes out knowing all too well their struggle. these people know a part of me that no one else knows, that no one else could understand. these people cheered for me the other day when i came in with a new hair color and hair cut. these people screamed "hurrah" when i told them i was spending the day outside running around with my kids. these people cling to me for hope. and these people are sick. and it makes me sad. and it makes me angry. and confused. and bitter. and it makes me lash out at the people i love. i hate cancer. i hate cancer. i hate cancer. i will never be the same. ever.
"you wonder where God is when things like this happen to you. and then you realize He is there in the pits right beside you."
Although this picture is completely corny, it is what i feel like doing right now. if you are in the fight, just found out you have cancer, hating chemotherapy, lost someone to cancer, cursing the world, angry, sad, mad, confused... then i want to kiss and hug you. i am in the fight too and it really sucks. but it IS giving me my life... and ah, it's such a good one. "this too shall pass."
"you wonder where God is when things like this happen to you. and then you realize He is there in the pits right beside you."
ReplyDeleteAllison, you could not be more correct in saying this. I am so happy that you are able to be up and running around with your children. I was reading an older post in your blog about being pregnant with the twins and how you and your husband looked at one another realizing that you could handle twins together. And that God will give you what He knows you can handle. In everything there is a plan. You are blessed to be able to recognize that and build from it. I admire your strength and your passion. Continue it, continue to be you and be strong. When you need a weak moment know there are plenty of people who love you and will help you stand.